Are Christians Boring To Date?

 I once had this guy ask me out and all I could think of was what life with him would be like: 21 days of dry fasting, 12 hours of intercessory prayer meetings everyday, house fellowships, tying ankara wrapper all over the house, calling him Daddy Tolu (or Our Daddy), and just completely being dead to my self. Emmm no, that was not going to happen. That got me thinking, are christian relationships boring? Are we Christians boring to date? Am I a sinner for wanting to have a fun-filled and yet Godly relationship? Is that even possible? Am I boring to date? Time and time again I've considered these questions in my mind.

What is fun to you? To some people, exciting relationships and courtships are ones that include partying, drinking, clubbing and sex. While to some other people (me included) fun includes going on group dates, hanging out with friends, attending events, serving in church, staying at home and watching a movie, and dancing in front of the mirror. (lol, ignore the last one). The idea of fun varies from one individual to another. Are we even supposed to have fun as Christians?

The bible says in Psalm 34:8 "Taste and see that the Lord is good.." The bible further includes verses
such as "in the presence of God, there is fullness of joy and at his right hand are pleasures forever more." Moreover, didn't Jesus come to give us life and life in abundance? So, if it's okay for Christians to have fun, then what kind of fun? Fun as in sex or some other kind of fun? Where do you draw the line between what is acceptable and what isn't in a christian dating?

Moving on, I wonder how non-believers perceive Christians who talk about nothing but their prayer group or house fellowship. How do you sustain a relationship on that basis? It's like living on soya milk alone! Are Christians always uptight and sexually repressed, starting every sentence with Jesus this and Holy Spirit that? Is it ok for Christians to be romantic or are we just called to be boring?

Well then, if Christians are not boring to date, then how do you have fun in a relationship without sinning? Notice I said "without sinning" and not "without being tempted.." Those are 2 different things. What are your thoughts on these issues? I'm eager to hear from you. What have you been doing in your relationships to keep it alive? And most importantly, why do people always think that Christians are boring to date?

love.

5 comments

  1. I read your comment on bellanaija.. Wise one you said there! Great blog too.

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  2. Of course, Christian relationships can be fun. It doesn't have to indulge drinking yourself to stupor. Hence, there are alot of fun activities that Christian couples can engage in e.g. bowling, watching a movie, dinner, water skiing, snorkeling, concert etc. Are these activities sinful? I think not!

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  3. The concept of christian dating in as much as cannot be termed exhilarating, boring seems however equally far fetched to what it should be. I can imagine non believers would view the lack of sex and such tendencies as unattractive (a view even the bible acknowledges in Proverbs 9:17 saying "Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant."), however like all things which work with the law of prerequisite and then reward, the reward set before us as believers adheres us to our principles.

    If you notice, I refer to the concept of christian dating in terms of what it should be. I believe what it should be is best described by the passage in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that tells us that " Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?".

    The placement of unbeliever in that scripture, means that we quickly point to unbelievers as culprits, however I beg to differ that unequally yoked describes ANY relationship which is or can be burdensome.

    Can I be liberal in my ideas of God and partner with someone who holds a frigid view? Yes, however such partnership will be burdensome and will require a steep learning curve from both parties. Most people cannot cope and thus create an unequal yoking.

    My personal opinion is that having a fun Christian dating experience requires for me to have found someone with whom my spirit sincerely connects. I know these people because very quickly I am yourself around them.

    It also requires a sincere level of trust in which we define our limits. I need this definition because:

    I like to travel and I would like anyone I am in a relationship with to travel with me. (My thoughts being that when you travel together, bonds form better, and even though you have different hotel rooms, hanging around each other can get tense. - I sincerely believe that most times when you agree one of you is always sensible at moments of weakness).

    Also, I'm just someone that doesn't have a pack of friends, so relationships mean a lot of hanging around each other. Couch, cooking and movies...baking and all sorts. I just believe finding someone who compliments you and who you can be real with at ALL levels just makes it so much fun.

    I simply believe that when real, honest Christians make it clear to each other that SIN is NOT an option....and that they'll be each others support system; very quickly they find ingenious ways to have an awesome time together and with friends.

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  4. "My personal opinion is that having a fun Christian dating experience requires for me to have found someone with whom my spirit sincerely connects. I know these people because very quickly I am myself around them."..this i totally agree with.I do the things i enjoy with my boo,as long as we have talked on things NOT to do i think the rest is cool with me because we both grown folks and know what wont please God.
    I have never dated a christian either for the reasons you stated above.I want to be able to be myself and have fun.I love Jesus mucho and i also have to make the most of this life he gave me without sin of course.I think christian men are uptight and i might have to walk around on eggshells trying to be who they want me to be.
    I dont know girl,all i know is i have yet to meet a christian man that i connect with and can see myself living a happy,peaceful fun and God fearing life with.I love to have a good time and being a christian shouldnt change that.I dont party,drink or stuff like that so im good but im adventurous.Otherwise i will be introducing my baby to christ then marry him..funny post,i could imagine you going around the house in your ankara calling your hubby daddy tolu or daddy scene.lol.So 80s.Nice pic with the african wear

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  5. I'm a Christian, and I honestly think I'm AMAZING!!! LOL! In all seriousness, shaking yansh for club and drinking like a fish week after week AFTER WEEK is not cute and that is not my (nor anyone over the age of 24 who respects themselves... I am being nice with the age...) idea of fun.
    I'm not in a relationship, but I want one with a guy whose personality is SIMILAR (NOT THE SAME) to mine in the sense that I want to laugh and have fun in a way that does not make my God shake His head. I am STILL a virgin, and sex will not be the "spice" in MY courtship! I KNOW they are out there, but frankly and concerned if I can find that in a **Nigerian** Christian man like this.
    I have the same concerns as you do. Will my life as a wife (God willing...) be me and my husband going to fellowship in uniform and fasting 6-6 all but one week every month? Will I spend more time in church than home?! I want to watch movies and hang out with friends (I have AWESOME friends!! They're DOPE!!! I'm so blessed to be in a circle of young, God-fearing, smart and educated, FUNNY and down to earth Christians), go out to nice restaurant (I live in NYC, I have a standard... LOL).
    Sometimes, I doubt if I'll get married because I am unwilling to compromise my values. If God says it'll happen, it will... I can't stress it...

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