I'm Back And Better!!!

Barristers' Ball 2013 provided by Law Career ServicesWow! This is the longest that I have been away from you guys and you cannot even begin to comprehend how much I've missed you all. It’s been a crazy ride, I tell you. Nevertheless, I am excited to write (if I tell you where I am right now, writing this piece, you will not believe it.)

If you refer to my last post, you will see that I had a bit of struggle with certain things that were going on in my life. During that period, I said I thought I was backsliding, well, I pretty much did. It became a job to pick up my bible and pray, I was uncomfortable in the presence of God and every time I opened my mouth in praise, it was empty.

It’s a dangerous thing when the devil has a strong hold of guilt and past sins on you, it takes the grace of God to get past it. It was a huge struggle for me I tell you. It was also in this same period that I struggled with emotions and heart breaks and …….. You get the gist, it was a tough season. What made it worse was that I went my own way. I started doing things the way I thought should be done. I stopped living by faith rather, I started living by flesh. I did what I felt like when I felt like it.
It felt like God could not be farther away than he was. Just like the east is from the west, I felt a strain on my relationship with God. In truth, I missed him. It was lonely without him. He is my confidant, my first love, and all that he is. I missed the feel of his presence, knowing that he was there, it was empty.

I could not write during this period because I would have been lying. I mean, what would be more hypocritical than me preaching God to you when my personal relationship with him was in disarray?

IMG_9134Finally, I had a breaking moment, when I realized that I was frustrating God’s purpose for my life by reacting the wrong way to the situations around me. I realized that with each day that passed I was giving the enemy every reason why I should not be used of God. All the while, I had been wasting the anointing on my life and letting it run. However, I knew that no matter how far I strayed, God will always be there with open arms, waiting to receive me. Still, I needed a confirmation that God had not given up on me just yet. So I searched in His Word and in His Truth and he spoke to me, in the clearest way possible.

This was what Paul said, in Romans 11 vs. 1-2 “Does this mean, then, that God is so fed up with Israel that he’ll have nothing more to do with them? Hardly. Remember that I, the one writing these things, am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham out of the tribe of Benjamin. You can’t get much more Semitic than that! So we’re not talking about repudiation. God has been too long involved with Israel, has too much invested, to simply wash his hands of them.” {The Message}

Wow! This word brought life into me in a way that I did not expect; it gave me joy, hope, restoration and forgiveness. So armed with the Word, I walked boldly into His presence and I did what I should have done 4 months ago, I poured our my heart, I emptied myself in his presence, I held nothing back. Wow! How refreshing it was. And you know what? I realized that even though I thought God was not there, He was there all along! Watching and waiting, for me to come home. And even though it took me longer than it should have, I’m home.

Friends, this is my testimony. It’s good to be home. What’s yours?

(PS: A huge thanks to all to commented on my last post and emailed to check on me, thanks for your words of life and wisdom. God’s blessings be with you.)



16 comments

  1. good to have you back hun! so so so so so good! ah this devil...he shall eat the bread of the affliction that he sets before us. have u prayed a prayer against the evil reproggrammers? you do know that every one has a righteous and abundant path that they are to follow (Gods thoughts for us are of abundance and prosperity )< i have tried to get the verse here but i dont see it.
    Either way , hun u cant sit and always recoil everytime and wait for breakups. Not every break up is God-ordained. Do u know the principle of 'praying at the gates'? My favourite psalms right now are many but all il tell u is that the lord teaches us how to pray with WAR. and i have a feeling you need to learn that. i WAS in ur predicament. YOU NEED TO LEARN TO WAR!

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  2. Glad to have you back, Thank God for restoration. Highly expectant now from you

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  3. So happy to have you back again, i visit your blog almost everyday to check if you have update but no luck, Hope you fully back now?

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  4. i though about u alot ...alot ...alot and ur situation and i thought i have to share this with u.

    i dont know how many of you know about spiritual warfare and how to fight spiritually for what we want and even if we have lost something its not necessarily Gods plan.and this even goes for the jobs weve been passed over and even the men as women that u have lost.

    see i need to speak to someone here ready to magnetise things to themselves.How many of you know that not every unmarried person is 'God is making u wait for the right one?".
    How many of you know about spiritual marriages and know that when any of you dreams that they were sleeping with someone (even if it was a familiar face) that was not well.. the person and thats a spirit husband and all and that could be the reason for botched relationships ,aborted marriages and even suffering ones and those that got married in plenty and then wel had problems with finances after ?

    How many of you know that even when u have a prophet speak upon your life you need to have serious prayers war for that prophesy to arrive (see Daniel and that damned principality called King/prince of Persia). ...

    How many of you know about the dreams you have their significance to your lives and how this is God warning you and all ?

    eg dreaming of constant dirty water - means your spiritual life is polluted and all
    dreaming of being arrested or being attacked - means there are special cohorts of demons that have planned to execute some spiritual arrest over your life in total or one section.same goes for dreaming about being in a pit.

    Lovely people let me tell you.God speaks! and there is a way to get answers and live in abundance especially in this times but you have to not pray amiss. this are not the days of "God loves you and your own will come" > the Violent take it by force !!! this is that season and this is also the seaon where u need to pray right . God says my children perish for lack of wisdom. Wisdom gives you life and preseves it as compared to knowledge.How many of you are living Life in abundance (psalms or proverbs says God has good thoughts towards us and not of evil.thoughts of prosperity).

    are u going to sit there and suffer some serious spiritual war on your life while u sleep and not pray at midnight for watever u want? and im not talking about the 2 month prayers of pity parties ya'll do. i mean the serious ones of a maximum of 21 days or the 7 days ones with a 6am to 3pm fast ...
    now this is not for everyone.trust me! this is for someone suffering some sort of generational curse and doesnt know what the right approach is. stop this pity party answers ''He left because u were too good for him or you were not his rigth match!" ... even when u know he is the one!

    now here is one book i will put up on my blog on educatedajebutter.wordpress.com

    as well as one on dreams called ' Cracking the dream code' by Elisha Goodman
    as well as ''prayer DNA ' by the same author .

    and lastly 'prayer cook book for busy people'. by the same author . you can also download them free on http://www.gobookee.net/search.php?q=elisha+goodman+prayer+academy

    by keying in the titles and doing a PDF download .


    a word is enough.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Reblogged this on educatedajebutter and commented:

    By logging in you'll post the following comment to I'm Back And Better!!!:

    i though about u alot …alot …alot and ur situation and i thought i have to share this with u.

    i dont know how many of you know about spiritual warfare and how to fight spiritually for what we want and even if we have lost something its not necessarily Gods plan.and this even goes for the jobs weve been passed over and even the men as women that u have lost.

    see i need to speak to someone here ready to magnetise things to themselves.How many of you know that not every unmarried person is ‘God is making u wait for the right one?”.
    How many of you know about spiritual marriages and know that when any of you dreams that they were sleeping with someone (even if it was a familiar face) that was not well.. the person and thats a spirit husband and all and that could be the reason for botched relationships ,aborted marriages and even suffering ones and those that got married in plenty and then wel had problems with finances after ?

    How many of you know that even when u have a prophet speak upon your life you need to have serious prayers war for that prophesy to arrive (see Daniel and that damned principality called King/prince of Persia). …

    How many of you know about the dreams you have their significance to your lives and how this is God warning you and all ?

    eg dreaming of constant dirty water – means your spiritual life is polluted and all
    dreaming of being arrested or being attacked – means there are special cohorts of demons that have planned to execute some spiritual arrest over your life in total or one section.same goes for dreaming about being in a pit.

    Lovely people let me tell you.God speaks! and there is a way to get answers and live in abundance especially in this times but you have to not pray amiss. this are not the days of “God loves you and your own will come” > the Violent take it by force !!! this is that season and this is also the seaon where u need to pray right . God says my children perish for lack of wisdom. Wisdom gives you life and preseves it as compared to knowledge.How many of you are living Life in abundance (psalms or proverbs says God has good thoughts towards us and not of evil.thoughts of prosperity).

    are u going to sit there and suffer some serious spiritual war on your life while u sleep and not pray at midnight for watever u want? and im not talking about the 2 month prayers of pity parties ya’ll do. i mean the serious ones of a maximum of 21 days or the 7 days ones with a 6am to 3pm fast …
    now this is not for everyone.trust me! this is for someone suffering some sort of generational curse and doesnt know what the right approach is. stop this pity party answers ”He left because u were too good for him or you were not his rigth match!” … even when u know he is the one!

    now here is one book i will put up on my blog on educatedajebutter.wordpress.com

    as well as one on dreams called ‘ Cracking the dream code’ by Elisha Goodman
    as well as ”prayer DNA ‘ by the same author .

    and lastly ‘prayer cook book for busy people’. by the same author . you can also download them free on http://www.gobookee.net/search.php?q=elisha+goodman+prayer+academy

    by keying in the titles and doing a PDF download .

    a word is enough.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have not backslid, but I am in a position where I *FEEL* like I have to lie/manipulate. I am CRUSHED and heartbroken by just the thought! This is very recent. I have been thinking this for like 2 days. Praying has been hard because I feel like I can't talk to God with my wretched heart. Sin is sin, but what I think I might do is intentional and to me that's even worse than gradually slipping or a spur of the moment type thing.
    I have been on my "Take This Relationship with God Seriously" spiritual journey for just over 17 months and God has been MORE than TOO GOOD to me! God has BLESSED me SOOOOO much! I pray and He makes a way. However, I feel like as much as He makes a way, **I** find a way of messing things up. I'm trying to get into med school and I have a few more classes to take. For a year I have been taking classes. I did not have housing, so I slept in the library. It has not been easy, but God was with me. Now that it is almost over, I am having difficulty doing well in the last few classes I have to take. Basically, I'm failing almost everything. If I don't pass, I don't go on. I am stuck taking undergrad classes for ANOTHER semester and I JUST CANNOT!!! I just want to finish this portion of school and had I not messed up what God has blessed me with the opportunity of, I would not be in this situation.
    I REALLY hope I made sense!!
    I am trying to trust God, but I am on a slight time constraint. Classes end in like 10 days! I'm sad that I am in this situation because it's all my fault! God has been AMAZING to me and THIS is how I say "thanks!"? It's messed up! I **KNOW** He can make a way when there is no way. I **KNOW** that when God opens a door, no force in hell can close it, and I **KNOW** that HIS strength is mad perfect in my weakness (Babes, make a tell una, a get plenty, plenty weakness, o!). I know God is a promise keeper, but God never promised to get me out of this blasting school by Aug.15! I JUST WANT TO FINISH!! I'm 27 and I want to get on with my life!!!!! I'm tired of being in the midst of undergrads, of being the one who is stagnant, I'm tired and I want to close this chapter of my life! I'm desperate.
    I have been struggling in my prayers like you were. I's just hard when you know (and He knows) what you are planning to do. It's hard...
    Anyways, SORRY FOR WRITING A BOOK, sha! I'm happy for you. The devil likes to play on guilt because it keeps us down. You have been made victorious, even though it took a while. I know you've learned a massive lesson. Be well my dear!!

    Peace,LOVE&Blessings,
    Adesuwa

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  7. Yaaay!!!! Finally...thank God, will be waiting for more posts!!! Btw i saw the feature on you in Bella naija!!! way to go!!! May God give you many more reasons to show off that smile of yours!

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  8. Amen!!!! Thank you so much Adey, you are very kind. I'm resuming my blog with immediate effect... lol

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  9. Hello Adesuwa,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. One of the major reasons for this blog is so that we as believers can help each other through our walk with God. We will fall every now and then but as long as we have someone holding our hands and praying for us, then we will be fine.

    The bible says that far be it from the most high to do evil. Job 34:10. So regardless of our sins, the Lord does not judge us, he's always waiting for us to come home and he never leaves us nor forsake us. I know you are aware of all these but you need to keep reminding yourself that you are not stuck, you are mvoing ahead, you are moving to the next level...

    Of course God promised that you'll be done with this segment, he did. He did when he said in Jere 29:11 that the plans he has for us are of good and not of evil, to give us a future, and a hope. So yes, he's promised and faithful is he that began a good work in you, he will definitely bring unto perfect completion.

    Don't loose hope. Keep your faith alive and He'll turn your mourning into dancing. Stay blessed!

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  10. Thank you much for your recommendations; indeed many of us believers are becoming too lazy to pray and simply "trusting God." There is wisdom in your words.

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  11. YES!! I can finally say that I am back fully. It's been a while, but God is always faithful. I'm back. Thank you so much.

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  12. Thanks Yasmine. I'm definitely learning about the importance of having a very healthy and alive prayer life. Yes, I'm back and by the special grace of the most high God; I'll continue to blog. :)

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