"Nonsense! Who does she think she is sef? Walking around as if she is better than everybody else .. mschewww..." "Madam ITK, always acting as if she knows everything" "Why must she have everything? Why does she always get the best? Her boyfriend is so ugly ..mschewww"

"That guy sha, he drives the best of cars and has ladies around him all the time. Why? He does not even work as hard as I do" "He does not deserve it." "I'm sure he did money rituals .. his success is not normal.."

"I hate her! I hope she falls down and dies!"

Do any of these statements sound familiar to you? Maybe not in the exact way in which the statement is written, but you get the gist right? You know what I'm talking about, JEALOUSY. 

Let me tell you a story.

Back in high school, I used to sing; in fact, I was in the choir. But there were 2 ladies in particular who were better singers than I was. They always got the solos and even when I did manage to get a solo, they did not trust me enough to handle it well - so I always had someone to assist me in singing the solo; needless to say I was always jealous and constantly finding errors in the things that those ladies did.

The jealousy consumed me and I started to lose focus of what was important; praising God. By the time I realized the error of my ways, I was already in undergrad. I realized that the solution to such a feeling of jealousy was not wishing the other party evil but rather, focusing on one's self. Wait a second.

If you are human and you have blood flowing through your veins, then at one point or another in your existence, you must have been jealous of someone, maybe even right now. But note that jealousy is evil, it is deadly. Jealousy is not a sin because God does not like it, it is a sin because it is bad for you. What does the bible say about jealousy?

James 4:2 "You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. Proverbs 27:4 "Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? James 3:16 "For where jealousy and self-ambition exists, there will be disorder and every vile practice."

See? So when you are jealous, you are hurting only one person, yourself. It is a trick of the enemy to distract from your goals and destination. Jealousy is stressful. It is a full time job that you cannot afford to take on. It is like cancer, it grows and grows and grows until it kills the person. Jealousy is like a parasite; it feeds on the host and depends on it for it's survival. It lays its eggs in one area and then with time, it multiplies.

So how do you deal with jealousy? You need to stop comparing yourself with whoever that person is. Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you really are. Instead of focusing on the person, channel the focus on yourself. What do you have that the person does not? Focus on the skills you have that make you who you are. Instead of being jealous, just love the person.

Be constructive, direct your energy into something productive. Work on your self-esteem believe in who you are and what you carry. The truth is there will always be someone who seems better off than you. There will be that person who just seems to have it all. But it's a lie, no one has it all. So, get used to that idea and focus on yourself.

Most importantly, you need to feed your mind with the word of God. You can even do what I do, which is to reject those evil thoughts as they come. They are not yours. And say to yourself "I wish her well, things will work for her, I do not wish him evil, she is blessed, I am happy and fulfilled.." You have to make deliberate effort to be rid of jealous, if not, you will find yourself doing things you never thought you were capable of....



1 comment

  1. Hey, dear! I have so missed your blog. I went for this compulsory NYSC Camp...having a programmed life for 3weeks plus the stress and the very terrible network.

    Talking about jealousy, there is this woman I used to dislike, she wears the latest designs of clothes, thinks highly of herself. And she was always in people's faces.
    Recently, I began to think, no one has it all, the more I disliked her, the more I began to feel I could never be better than her, I mean it was me suffering inside, who knows there could be people who are even jealous of me too, so decided to ignore that part, each time that jealously part would come up, I would praying and wishing her good, inside of me. That helped me so much.

    At some other point, I used to jealous this lady who usually wore heels all the time, 6-inch or even more. She is tall. I don't really like heels, but one day I wore mine to church and I saw her, and that jealously part came up again. As I was walking out of church that day, I slipped and the two heels detached from my sandals...lol. And I walked home barefeet. Since then, you bet I even defend her when people complain of her shoes, at least, she can walk in them.

    I believe I am fine the way God made me. People even come to me and say I want to be like you, and I am like, am I that special? It's all God...my talents, esp my sense of humour which attracts people to me. They even encourage me, maybe you should do comedy and forget science...and all of that.
    God has blessed me with all I need...and my prayer is, just like my favourite author said, "when I die, I want to stand before God and say Lord, all the talents you gave me I used them all".

    I love this post.


Back to Top