What Does Sex Have To Do With It? The Men Speak.......

My dear readers, this is one post you do not want to miss reading. These men answer the question "What Does Sex Have To Do With It?" and they hold NOTHING back! They tell it exactly the way it is.

The ladies have spoken, now it's men's turn to share their wisdom with us.

These 3 men are very good friends of mine who are God fearing, single, and successful in their chosen fields; they are young men who definitely know what they are talking about.  Here is what they had to say.

Mr. Ayokunmi Paseda Says: When I was a little boy, I asked an uncle 'Why do men rape girls and young women?'  He responded by saying 'once a young man tastes sex, he will never be able to control his desire for sex again, he will always crave for that experience over and over again; anyhow and anywhere.' This implies to me that sex is very addictive. The sexual addiction in men can make a man go to any length to have it.

The feelings of erection in a young man is a sign that that man is alive, but if those erections are not brought under control through the help of the Holy Spirit, it will make him become as weak as a morsel of bread. Uncontrolled feelings make the king in a man become a slave. Sex engages the Spirit, Soul and Body. Little wonder the scripture clarifies that when a man marries, he is joined to his wife and they become ONE FLESH.

SEX is the most discussed but least understood aspect of human life. I think it is fair to say that we, at the end of the twenty-first century are living in the Sexual Dark Ages. We hear more about sex than our parents or grandparents ever heard, but we understand much less. God gave us the sex drive because it is good. Sex in marriage is just a snippet of how Heaven looks like; sex is good but in the right place (i.e. in marriage).

Gal. 5:16-17 "So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions."

Perfect curves and shapes are only found in the configuration of a woman and we men are uncomfortable, disorganized, disoriented by the sight of those curves and shapes which make us want to explore, feel and even want to taste what we see. Even a 'spiritual man' can fall for it, but the good news is that there's no urge that can't be mortified through constant studying of God's word and Praying in the Spirit.

It is possible to stay away from sex before marriage; it is possible to be delivered from sexual addictions. Sex is worth waiting for, because it’s fulfilling, pleasurable and it is to be enjoyed in marriage. All you need to do is stay connected; with the right people and virtuous materials. No matter how much you have messed up in the past, the Word of God is the only antidote when it comes to any sinful addiction. It’s also the word of God that can keep you from falling.

Yours, Ayo (He is the MD of "BrandShift Business Solutions", they are into the production of lapel pins, wrist bands, Tshirts, car air-fresheners and other promotional products. If you need his contact, kindly email me.)

Mr. Tayo Abobarin Says: Sex is Good! With all the crusades against having sex before marriage, it is interesting to discover that sex is actually biblical. God created sex. He created man and woman to create babies. The Bible says that sex is a way for a husband and wife to express their love for one another. Oh yes! “husband and wife.” God did create sex to be a beautiful and enjoyable expression of love, but only between a man and wife.

Proverbs 5:18-19 – “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.” I grew up in a setting where having a 'girlfriend' was a sin. I never really agreed with the whole concept because there was this girl I liked... Anyway, I started looking for a scripture passage to bail me out and Eureka! I found the above scripture. The problem was just that I didn't *notice* the 'wife' part.

There is a lot of talk going on around us about sex. Sex is in just about every magazine, newspaper, television show, and movie. It is the point of a lot of music. Remember "Friends with benefits"? The Bible does not agree with this concept. God calls us all to control our passions and wait for marriage.

The desire to have sex can be very strong, especially if you've already had sex. It is only by relying on God for strength that you can truly fight off the temptation to have sex. Note, it's a daily combat, get used to it. While you cannot become a virgin again if you've already had or been having sex, you can obtain God’s forgiveness. You just have to ask for it and try not to sin that way again. While giving up sex may be difficult, God calls us to remain sexually pure until marriage.

 Have this in mind, if you stare long enough at an interesting cleavage or you dwell more on the roundness of the curvy parts of a lady, your brain will analyse every possible outcome and that's just the beginning of the process. "Guard your hearts with all diligence..."

Yours, Tayo (He is a brand consultant with a background in Architecture, graphics designing, and a member of HarvestHouse Christian Center.....If you need his contact, kindly email me.)

Mr. Boyenle Falonipe Says: What’s sex got to do with it? Everything! The “everything” of a marriage or relationship is whether it survives or dies, right? Does sex have anything to do with these? It’s a resounding YES!

No other physical activity has such a direct line to a man’s (both sexes) soul like sex does, massaging it or stifling life from it; how do I know this? When you are in the mood for sex, reasoning is suspended. And if it has your soul, it’s through to your spirit. Sex is the ultimate “program” or “chip” installed into man’s physical body; it’s the reason great men like King David could fumble. It’s not women; it’s sex!

Why am I being so descriptive about sex? It’s so you could imagine what you might be toying with, and how your spirit can suffer from it, if not well handled. If sex were to be a trivia, 1Cor 6:18 would not say “FLEE FORNICATION…”

The wonderful lady writers on this blog on the same topic have aptly stated what context sex can be wonderful, enjoyable, cementing…glorious; when all the thrills in the “program” can be viewed, used and accessed- MARRIAGE! When couples have had a quarrel-filled day, they could emerge from the room in the morning smiling. Don’t you know what the magic was? How about a terrible marriage, when the only time couples get to smile at each other is late at night, in the “act”?

Experienced couples would tell you that when sex drive and attraction is leaving your marriage, many things have left it already, many more may follow. So, God bless married folks who know how to use sex. But to my single brothers and sisters, trouble cometh to you who use sex at all, especially if you are a child of God!

“Hey…but, I’m 29 and my body can’t hold it anymore” My advice; get married or keep FLEEING! Sex is NEVER going to make you love her better! I know. Why? As long as you are a spirit man, doing things against the “house” of your spirit would always bring condemnation, not by the Spirit, but by your spirit. Once you feel condemned, you get separated from the person of God, fellowship becomes a burden, you get vulnerable, the hedge is broken, and the lurking serpent would strike- if you are a child of God.

So why risk such heartache for few minutes of pleasure. FLEE! The result is you both start seeing each other as causes of the strained relationship with God; and begins to avoid and despise each other. Tell me, how can such relationship grow? Sex has everything to do with it.

Yours, Boye (He studied Civil Engineering at OAU, he is the Principal Consultant at "Noir Enhancement" and the Author of the book "Succeeding With Appearance")

ME: Well, there you have it. I could not have said it any better. What do you think? Leave you thoughts and comments. Have a blessed week!



  1. Interesting read, you all were absolutely right and on point. We need more God fearing men in this generation. God Bless you.

  2. Awesome..I like the 3rd guy's explanation very detailed and wow..Copied and save in my memory..Thanks for sharing as always

  3. God bless these great men of our generation that knows the mind of God and explains it very well without mincing words or shying away from the truth of His word. Once again, God bless you

  4. Really wonderful comments from the guys. Each comment though they conveyed the same message to me, touched me in a different way. It actually feels good to know that they are still Great men like this who believe SEX is supposed to exist ONLY in MARRIAGE, and not outside it.
    God bless you guys real good!
    Bless you too, Nike!

  5. God bless you too. Thank you so much.

  6. I'm glad you were blessed. Thank you.

  7. Thank you UnveilingGold, God bless you.

  8. Good post..Btw Ayo is my first cousin..regards to him

  9. What an eye opener.. Basically all three passed on a significant and important message with bible references..God bless you all!!

  10. 'There is nothing more attractive than a man firm in his faith and willing to protect the woman he loves by protecting her virtue till they are married. It is not easy to do, but God is able and just.' It is worth waiting. My married friend told me that as she and her now husband struggled with this prayerfully. I believe her! Single men and women need to support themselves with advice like the above constantly!


  11. i like the second guests perception about sex. Its really apt.

  12. Nice post,they are really eye opening.


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