What Does Sex Have To Do With It? The Ladies Speak...

 I asked these ladies and myself a question, "What has sex got to do with it?". These ladies are Christ believing ladies whose values and foundation are rooted deeply in the word of God.

Neither of us is married, so we understand the struggles that comes with been a devoted christian in this day and age.

Here is what we all had to say. 

Ms. Polola Oladipo Says: It is easier said than done. Engaged or Christian Singles who are in relationships tend to fall for the mirage that they can trust their feelings/instincts and handle "it" ("it" being sex) during courtship. The truth is even the strongest of us have a weak spot. It is what we do in our moment(s) of weakness that count on the long run.

Like I said earlier, it is easy to say that sex should be avoided outside marriage, but in the face of the question of sex when you are in love, standards, rules and set boundaries will not suffice. It will take a set of deeper convictions of who we are in God and the values we hold in high esteem. By convictions,I do not mean a set of scriptural verses we know off head about keeping the marriage bed un-defiled but a revelation of seeing through the eyes with which God sees us as individuals.

To every committed/engaged single out there, I assure you, that you can find strength in God's word knowing that should those testing moments arise, you have a sure ground to stand upon. To the singles, I'll like to quote Michelle Mc by saying "Please get a life". Sex isn't an antidote for loneliness neither is it an affirmation of love from the opposite sex. Establish yourself in the love of God and be rooted in His sure promises.

Finally, there is a flip side to love & sex when it is within the confines of marriage. I am not married, but I've got married friends, lots of them. They all seem to have the testimony that sex is worth the wait with the heavenly blessing upon it. Sex within a Godly marriage gives you an affirmation that your spouse is committed to you irrespective of your flaws and loves you; and he/she clearly communicates all these to you via sex, holding nothing back! Some say that is Heaven on Earth? Well, I’ll have to wait to find out...lol

Yours, Lisa (she is the CEO of Lisa Interiors, visit her website here. http://lisainteriors.com/wp/2012/09/my-life-as-an-interior-designer/)

Ms. Helen Komolafe Says: Love and sex are two hot topics that sell anything in our world today. Everyone wants to be loved even the most hardened criminal seeks in his heart to be loved and accepted.  But looking around the world today, what consumes the heart of many is sex so much that pornography is fast becoming normal. The question now is "is sex as satisfying and fulfilling as it has been projected"?

Sex has been capitalized on so much that it has gotten so many lives messed up, so many have lost their sense of purpose and identity and make sex(immediate gratification) their focus. When sex is the center of one's thought what usually happen is that, such individual loses his ability to love well and feel loved, but can be infatuated.

Sex was created by God and sex in the right context (marriage) is good, sacred, and powerful and we should approach it with love and reverence. How then can you truly love without sex outside of marriage? You have to start from the beginning, from the author of love himself. In Him, you will be loved without judgment or conditions, you are not loved based on how well you can perform, but you are loved just for who you are. When you have this understanding, premarital sex will not seem so appealing after all.

I am happy to announce to you that God is love and He is ready to show you how to love in the true sense of it, I want you to take that step of faith today by allowing Him to love you with an everlasting love. You are welcome to the best days of the rest of your life.

Yours, Helen

Dprodigal Child Says: What has sex got to with it? A lot! However, just like every good thing, there is always a catch. The catch here is to wait till marriage to engage in sex. This will provide you with the richness, beauty and fullness which it entails. You have to know that God himself designed the act and if he limited it to be done within married couples, I’m sure He knew what he was doing. Engaging in pre-marital sex is like telling God “I want it and I want it all now.” It’s like wanting to eat the appetizer, main course and the dessert all at the same time, we all know the result of that – constipation.

There are two things you should know. Number one is that consensual sex does not jump on you, it’s not sudden. It’s an accumulation of everything. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh. Luke 6: 45. Believe it or not, before it happened, you already thought of it and imagined it. One kiss here, one touch there; one hug here and another cuddling there and before you know it, the deed is done. You have to flee all appearances of evil (literally) and guard your heart with all diligence. You must not create an atmosphere for it to occur and neither should you put yourself in one. Extended prayer meetings at your fiancé’s house? Who are you deceiving?

Number two is that the flesh only understands one word, more! Give me more, I want more, more, more, more … that is all the flesh understands. So be careful in the boundaries you set for yourself. Most times, we are not as strong as we think we are. Remember, we are a Spirit who has a Soul and living in a body. Therefore, the fleshly desires will always come and the more you feed it, the more it wants. It’s like cancer; you just have to cut it off. Cut off all sinful relationships and interactions. Surround yourself with value adding relationships. Also, be accountable. Have a mentor in your life. Someone that chastises you, loves you and prays for you.

Like Polola said, it is easier said than done. I’m sure at one time or another; we have all fallen prey to the traps of the enemy. But that is not the point because we are not defined by our past. The focus is not where we have been but where we are going to. So it is never too late to start over. Don’t be deceived by the enemy and don’t get stuck in his lies. All it takes is a decision to make a change and the determination to sustain that change. If God sees your heart and He knows that you are willing to make a change, He’ll help you. But first, you have to take the first step.

So what has sex got to do with it? I'll let you know when I'm married. :D Until then, remain in God....



  1. I love this post...it has really said a lot to me....like it is written here, "it is easier said than done"....but I have found the strength in God not to fall for it and I have set my boundaries...I have friends who usually say, "hmmm...I wonder how you are gonna wait...I know you will give in someday before marriage", I always have this confidence in me and I will say, "I can do it". Though at some point, I felt my confidence wane but recently I had several more resons to wait and I pray God to help me to wait till I get married, because from what a friend who just fell for "it" told me...she said, "don't be deceived, It is not what I thought it would be, it is so worth the wait. The primary thing is staying away from things that would even make you contemplate whether to do "it" or not". And this has really worked for me.
    Thank you for this post, dear!

  2. I like the part where you mentioned its like cancer, cut it off, cut off sinful relationship.. Also it starts with the thought and doesn't happen all of a sudden as well not putting yourself in situations that would lead to it. I know someone that is seeing a Christian guy and this guy is so conscious of his act i.e. doesn't talk about it, rarely touches her in public and their hanging spot has always been in public or with friends.. At first I was like hmmm but now I see that if both parties are willing to be conscious and flee then there is a likelihood you will make it to marriage undefiled..
    I can testify that in my past relationship with so called Christian brother was filled with both fleshly thoughts on both ends that we even discussed it to the point that when we were together we couldn't control ourself but that God we didnt go all the way..huh.I am still getting over that talk-less of going all the way.

    Personally I sometimes find myself fantazisng (due to past relationship) about the guy I am with but a voice reminds me that it is wrong and disrespectful to the man, would I like if he was doing the same?...So my prayer remains to be sensitive to the Holyspirit that I would be accountable for all my deeds....I tell you waiting is hard and it is harder if your mind is set on the things of the flesh..

  3. Great piece! Well said. I think it will do a lot of good if every single comes to the realization of the fact that your most active sex organ is your mind. If you don't think you won't do it. We often don't "fall" into temptation; we. "Walk" into temptation . That's why we pray "lead" us not into temptation not "lift" us out of temptation

  4. Kinda stand in awe of d write up on ur blog 2day! More grease to ur elbow gal! Kinda find it soothing to knw Δα† sum gals (dnt mind my usage of "gal" cos ladies wld av bn appropriate) stil tink strait! Bravo frnd, Tink u'll b d nxt literary "Felix Baumgartner" of our tym!:D

  5. Dis is really nice to hear you all and you are all right,,,,,,,it is worth the wait,if you have done it before,start again,for those engaged,don't ever think you can do it own your own,ask God for the strenght everyday cause he alone can help you wait. Sex outside marriage is more trouble than fun people trust me.

  6. Actually am so impressed by dis piece,it says all, I like to call attention to is d part dat says how well sex has bin projected if its well satisfying?let me paint a scenario here :wen u commit fornication. Do u enjoy it?re u satisfied? all in ur mind is wat if I get pregnant ? afterwards u quickly stand up n readjust etc unlike wen u re married u stay in bed n go all d way with ur spouse .........
    Pls christian ladies out der let kip our body cos SEX is sweet wen u re not Stealing it.
    God Bless

  7. Thank you for reading and sharing. The bible says that they that wait upon they Lord shall renew their strength.. you are on the right track, God will give you the grace.

  8. "Personally I sometimes find myself fantazisng (due to past relationship) about the guy I am with but a voice reminds me that it is wrong and disrespectful to the man, would I like if he was doing the same?…" That's a very good point you made. I can absolutely relate to that but like you said, we have the Holy Spirit to convict us and steer us back. Thanks!

  9. True! You are absolutely right. Thanks for stopping by.

  10. lol... I loved it when you said that sex is sweet when you are not stealing it. I totally agree with you. Thanks

  11. Reblogged this on educatedajebutter and commented:
    Good Evenning lovely ladies and gentlemen. I hope you are great from wherever you are reading this.I came across it and i thought to myself, ''Havent i heard this somewhere before..?" the struggle of most people.....

    Love ,Light and Exposure.

  12. I dont think it good like that

  13. Great piece! Just one word of encouragement: It pays to wait! I am a witness. By the time you get married you'll wonder what the haste was all about. you'll be kind of "Is that All???" Though enjoyable at the long run, remember you'll have some one looking up to you for counsel after you've crossed the bridge and am sure you don't want the person being disappointed that you actually fell in the river while trying to cross. Sex is a very beautiful gift of God to married couples and is best enjoyed when there are no precautions and fears. YOU TOO CAN DO IT. cheers!
    If you are married, find out how best to do it here : newlymarriedgirl.blogspot.com


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