So Your Spouse Cheated On You..... What Next?

When someone cheats on you, the first question should not be "HOW" could they have cheated on you, but "WHY" did they cheat on you??

Cheating is a serious issue that should be handled based on the circumstances surrounding each case. The fact that "A" cheated on "B" and "B" handled it a particular way does not mean if "C" does the same it will work for him or her. How you handle situations such as these should depend on the facts surrounding that particular circumstance. You should not base your relationships on rules and theories that people come up with. The first question that needs to be answered is why did he/she cheat on you? So, your spouse cheated on you, what do you do?

Proverbs 4: 7 says "getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment." Another version says that "wisdom is the principal thing, in all thy gettings, get understanding." First and foremost, you need to talk to God. He is the beginning, don't leave him as the last resort. Remember, the bible says in Genesis 1:1, "in the beginning GOD...." Take counsel and direction first from God before talking to the people around you. "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom" 1 Corin 1:25 

If you are still in a relationship i.e. you guys are still dating, and your partner cheats on you, what do you do? You should hold off on getting married. This could have happened for either of two (2) reasons. Number one, God might be trying to show you something, that is, you are in the wrong relationship. Number two, there might be some underlying issues that you both need to sort out. So, hold off on any marriage plans and see if you guys can work it out, serious talk and counselling (with your pastors and mentors) about why d person cheated in the first place.

All that talk about "all men cheat" is bull crap and arrant nonsense. Not all men cheat... and not all women cheat ... So, figure out if it was a one time thing that happened while he/she was drunk, a mistake or a habit that the person has cultivated over the years .... is it something you both can and are willing to work through or is it a sign that you both should part ways? What if you are already married?

If you are already married, I would say you should seek intense counseling; and I mean with your pastors and not psychologists. Cheating should not be the basis of the dissolution of your marriage, especially if the party that cheated is willing to make amends and is deeply regretful of his/her actions. You need to understand that we are believers and our ways are not the ways of the world. The bible says even though we are in the world, we are not of the world. Don't handle your marriage the way unbelievers handle theirs. We have seen the light, and we know there is nothing impossible for God to do and there is no situation that He cannot turn around for the best. So persist, persevere and pray for the restoration of your marriage. Divorce should never be an option.

But on the other hand, if the party is a "serial" cheater, is unhappy or has other deep reasons that led him/her to cheat, then you've got bigger issues and problems. But even at that, always remember, that there is absolutely nothing impossible for God to do and in his mercy and faithfulness, he will heal your wounds, dry your tears, heal your broken hearts and bring peace and joy unspeakable back into your hearts and homes in Jesus name. Amen!


1 comment

  1. I couldn't have put it better...
    Absolutely forthright, practicable and insightful!
    God bless you for sharing.....



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