Common Sense Number 3: Every Relationship Must Be Defined

Number 3: Every Relationship Must Be Defined

An undefined relationship is a dangerous relationship. Take for example; there are 2 friends; Kunle and Funmi. They are always together. They come and go together. In church, if Kunle comes before Funmi, he’ll reserve a sit for her. If Funmi comes before Kunle, she’ll reserve a sit for him. Pretty much they are 5 & 6 and if you ask them what is going on they will say NOTHING.

Nothing is going on and you have allowed this one guy to become a canopy over your life. Everyone thinks you are hooked and yet nothing is going on. This guy as become a Pharisee over your destiny; he will not enter and he will not allow those that want to enter to enter. Such a lady needs to refer to number 2. Simply ask the girl or guy - "how do we define this relationship?"

For such a guy, the lady simply needs to ask him to define their relationship. I mean, you can only be so close to a man and be just friends. No matter what relationship you find yourself, the earlier you define your relationship the better. It will save you a whole lot of heart breaks. Make assumptions about the status of your relationship is not the best way to go. I'm not saying you should propose marriage to the guy, i'm saying you should ask him a question.

As for men, learn to treat a woman with respect. I mean how can a woman be cuddling with you, cooking for you, touching your body, calling and texting you from am to pm, and you will say nothing is going on? You need to call up such a woman and set the records straight. In fact, don’t let it even get that far before putting a stop to it. Women are not materials to be used and dumped. If you are a man like this, you need to change your orientation. If a woman is dying for you and you have zero interest in her, it's better to tell her now and save her the torture and heart break.

But in the end, only love remains. After all, if you love God and you fear him, you will not lead a guy or girl on to believe in what does not exist.




  1. lol @ d guy bin a pharisee...u r totally rit nd i luvd d write up and i luv the fact that u r boldy stating ur stand for Jesus...I luv Him too!!!

  2. Thank you so much. You know for those of us who are unable to take to the streets to profess Jesus, we can always do it behind our computers. :D

  3. I so love this write-up...I once had a friend, a guy, we grew up almost together, the only thing that seperated us was school. After high school, we got into college same time...I loved him so so much, we spent most of our free periods together. Then one day, we were hanging out with his friends...we were holding hands, and I made a comment referring to him as my boyfriend, he quickly let go my hand and exclaimed, "I am not your boyfriend oh!" It was really embarrasing, then I realised my mistake, I never asked him to define the kinda relationship we had.
    He actually came to ask me to forgive him for what he did, two years later...but I just couldn't imagine us being the way we used to be, anymore and what his friends would think the drama he acted that day, meant.

  4. Thanks for sharing your story. I once found myself in a similar situation as yours and you are right that there is no way the friendship you shared will go back to the way it was. I guess we just learn from our mistakes and move on. Thanks!

  5. Keep it up dee prodigal child, your blog came at a time many of the youths are living their lives in a Y.O.L.O. manner I hope they will learn from it.

  6. Interesting...what i want to say is,its possible to be close to a guy and just be friends nothing more..i had this friend we would go to church together and revivals and talk on the phone all the time.I only saw him as a friend and told him so but he kept insisting on he wanted to marry me,in the end i had to stop being friends with him all together..but sometimes you can be just friends with a man/woman as long as its made clear.Trust if he/she has feelings for you,they will tell you at some point.Having someone from the opposite sex as a friend doesnt neccesarily mean something else is going on.He who God has directed to you,i believe will come regardless and find out for themselves.My two cents.God Bless

  7. Thanks for your thoughts and sharing you story.


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