Common Sense Number 2: Never Take Your Heart on a Journey Without Your Brain

Number 2: Never Take Your Heart on a Journey without Your Brain

Every time your heart is taken on a journey and your brain is left in the passenger sit, an accident will be inevitable. Don’t let your emotions rule your life. I, as a person, know first hand that spontaneity can be fun and exciting but not when your future is involved. I can be very spontaneous, but not in some major issue of life.

Gentlemen and ladies, we need to be able to use our brains more and our hearts less. You are dating a man who beats you like no man’s business; yet you are still with him. You are dating a man that when he looses his temper, the world has to run for cover; yet you are still with him. You are dating a guy who lives in the United States, when last did you see him, 5 years ago? You are dating a woman who has zero level of respect for you, when you talk 1, she talks 7. You are dating a lady who delights in your failures and is always eager to say I told you so, yet you are still with her?

These scenarios and many more are situations in which we sometimes find our selves and yet we find it hard to let go. Why? I don’t know.

Dear Men: Please Read Dayo's Story

My name is Dayo. I’m a typical Nigerian guy and I cherish my Fridays a lot; I get to hang out with the sickest guys every Friday night and secondly, It’s another escape from my nagging and boring wife. I get confused sometimes on whether she’s my mother or my wife. Don’t get it twisted; I love her pieces. It just gets complicated; like I wish we never got married…marriage has turned her into something that doesn’t amuse me. I wish she was still the adventurous, charming, high spirited lady I dated for five years.

A lot of people say its unethical for married guys to be found in a club, but I wish everyone won’t be too quick to judge and understand that people look for fun to run away from their problems; they just want to breathe, like me.

I forgot to say that I work in Guarantee Trust Bank along Lekki, I love my job and my job loves me, maybe its because I’m the senior banking officer. Lol. This particular morning, a lady breezed into my office. My heart raced faster because I had not sighted anything this beautiful in a long while. She wasn’t the typical slender Barbie, in fact, she was a bit chubby but her smile, cuteness and…I was tripped.

“Hi Good morning! Your ATM has swallowed my card!” She laughed, unlike a typical customer that would ram you.

I just tried to form Boss laughter…

“Good morning, You know what? I’d personally make sure they get it out for you, but not today. Can you wait till Monday?” I smiled

“GTB shaaa! OK, can I just drop my number so you could call me up or just text when its ready so I don’t come twice? Please? My name is Nancy” She blinked her eyes in a funny way.

“Sure” I smiled

We exchanged numbers. What a lucky Friday!


So it was 10:00pm and I headed to the club…as usual my friends were chilling for me. My wife had called a couple of times, I just ignored it. She knows I’m never home Friday nights.

“Look at you!” I heard someone say. I raised my head and it was the ATM lady-Nancy.

“Wow, look at you too!” I was surprised to see her but I was happy I didn’t have to wait till Monday to see her again.

“Happy Friday!” She screamed because of the noise, “Wanna dance?”

I didn’t even have the chance to answer, she already pulled me to dance floor. I really suck at dancing but she helped me; she was a great dancer! I had fun! At some point we decided to go to a private area and we talked, ranging from work, business to personal life. I tried to hide my ring as much as possible, I certainly didn’t want this to end now.

“You are a really wonderful lady. You are so interesting…any guy would want to be with you all day” I said.

“I wasn’t always like this but I have learned the hard way that life is just too short to be sad” she sang

Then her phone rang…

“Hey baby! Yeah I’m at the private lounge, I’d like you to meet someone…alright boo” she talked excitedly as usual.

I was in shock until this tall handsome man walks up to her and kisses her.
“You were late. Meet Dayo; I met him this morning, he’s helping with your ATM I told you got swallowed and Dayo this is my B to the O-O,” she laughed “Meet my husband Kolade, we only come here to dance every
fortnight Friday; away from work, stress and kids.”

“Wow, a pleasure” I managed to shake him

Then she stood now excitedly holding her husband’s arms.

“Why don’t we invite Dayo for Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?” Her husband said

They have kids too? How long have they been married and they look like a couple just dating!

“Silly me, please come for my second daughter’s 16th tomorrow. It would be an honor” She brought out an I.V from her purse.

I began to feel so ashamed of myself…this was another guy like me, getting it right with one woman.

I collected the I.V and promised to be there.

“See you tomorrow! Have you had something to eat Kolade?” she talked and dragged her husband along.

They left and I kept staring at the thin air like I had seen a ghost.
They come just to dance together every fortnight Fridays? Why didn’t I think of that! Temi loves to dance…she also likes long walks, she loves to talk…she loves jazz music, there’s this vivid picture I have
of me putting her hand on my chest when we danced at a jazz club on our first year anniversary…I found myself typing all the things I knew Temi loved to do on my I pad and I realized I had denied her of all…I
had made her the old woman she acts.

What the hell was I doing here! I didn’t even tell my friends goodbye, I walked out of the club into my Jaguar. Temi’s call came through and I picked at first ring.

“Temi?” My heart raced

“I know you are not coming home…”

“I am, stay up so we can gist. Been a while” I decided to do everything on that list and to even add many more for the rest of my lifetime with her.

“Are you alright?” She was shocked I suppose

“And I’d like us to go for a birthday party tomorrow. I want you to
meet this amazing couple”

“You sound different Dayo”
“Maybe I’m different”

“Don’t say it! don’t say it! when you come we will gist very well” she laughed

She laughed!!! In just that laughter that I hadn’t heard in a while, she sounded like the lady I married six years ago…

Share your thoughts on this story.


(I got this story from Linda Ikeji)

Common Sense Number 1 - Never Mourn Your Singleness

Number 1 – Never Mourn Your Singleness

A lot of people in our society today (women most especially) start to look down on themselves when they reach a certain age and they are not married. They begin to feel that it’s over. Like it's the end of the world. Singleness is not something that you mourn. Singleness is neither a curse nor a disease. We must all be single at one point or another. Moreover, contrary to the popular opinion, marriage was not the first institution, singleness was.

Adam was single before God said that “it is not good for man to be alone …” Gen 2:18 and even after God made Eve, Adam was still asleep. Therefore, the first touch on Eve was not the touch of a man but the touch of God. So you see, singleness is something that we should embrace because if you were never single (technically), you will most likely not have a successful marriage when you eventually marry.

Don't let the societal and family pressures get to you. I know it's easier said than done but you just have to hold your ground. If you give in to pressure, you'll get desperate and you'll most probably settle for the wrong man. Would you rather remain single and happy or be "double" and miserable?


Over the next few days, I’ll be writing articles on what I’ve titled “5 Common Sense for Singles”. The articles will be focused on the following:

Common Sense Number 1: Never Mourn Your Singleness

Common Sense Number 2: Never Take Your Heart on a Journey without Your Brain

Common Sense Number 3: Every Relationship Must Be Defined

Common Sense Number 4: Never Wave Away Warning Signals

Common Sense Number 5: Don’t Sacrifice Your Future on the Alter of Temporary Pleasure

These posts are designed for every one seeking a successful relationship while courting and when you eventually marry. It’s going to be a must-read and you won’t want to miss it. Now, while I trust that you will be blessed by the things that I will discuss, I also hope I can learn from you also. So if there’s anything you want me to focus on, leave it in the comment section below and I’ll gladly do so.


Nigerians And Their "Foreign Accent Syndrome"

Words cannot describe how ashamed I was when she opened her mouth, the accent that proceeded there from was nothing to write home about. This was a Nigerian lady who had only been in the U.S. for 3months!! Do we really know what it sounds like when someone with a THICK Nigerian accent (be it Igbo, Yoruba or Hausa), tries to form American accent? That’s recipe for disaster.

                                         Ok. Let me press pause right there. This article is not about Nigerians that grew up or were born in the U.S. and neither is it about ALL Nigerians that live in the U.S. (I say U.S. a lot because that’s where I’m most familiar.)

This article is about Nigerians with a thick Nigerian accent who feel the need to impress by attempting to switch their Nigerian accent for an American (or British or Whatever) accent. Listen, it just does not work!!! It does not sound good and you end up making a fool of yourself. Either back in Nigeria, or here in the States (or Wherever).

I have to admit that when I initially got into the U.S (as a grown up), I thought it was required of me to speak with an American accent. Well, guess what? They could not understand a freaking word I said!!!! I had to repeat myself over and over and over. You can imagine how tiring that would be. But each time I spoke like myself, natural and all, I was comfortable, at ease and the conversations flowed a lot better than when I tried too hard.


My alarm goes off, it’s 5am again! Time to get up, time to get the day started, I’ve got a lot on my to-do list and the earlier I get started, the better for me.

But first, there is a crucial need to acknowledge the one who made it possible for me to wake up in the morning, the one who kept me through the night and for whom I live. I also need to do my morning ritual, CONFESS. In the cause of my walk with God, however, I've come to recognize and realize the power of Confessions.

Listen, there is a power like no other on our tongues. The greatest power that we have as humans, lie within us. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. – Pro. 18:21; so you see why what we say about ourselves go on to shape who and what we become. I know it sounds cliché but it’s just the basic truth.

Here is how it works, the more you say negative things about a particular situation, the more negative results you will see. Now, positive things might be happening concerning that situation but because of what you believe and because of what you have been prophesying, you will not see the positive things and all that you will see will be negative.

Here's a Sample of my Movie Review

Pastor: “….. Till Death Do You Part?” You: “I DO”

I've always considered these two words, “I DO”, the most powerful words anyone can confess, especially in the presence of God. Be it for a man or a woman, there comes a point in life when for that individual, it’s mostly going to be about when he/she will get the chance to declare “I DO”.

I love weddings; they are one of my favorite events to attend; especially if I know the couple or if I know their story. Weddings are beautiful and colorful, emotions are running wild, and there is laughter, tears and most importantly, lots of food. :) Everything looks perfect and one wonders what could go wrong?

But somewhere along the line, some of the time, something does go wrong. We start to see tears, anger, unforgiving spirit, transfer of aggression, fights, abuse, lies, cheating etc in a home that we thought was the epitome of God’s design. While in some other homes, we see joy unspeakable, happiness, smiles, contentment and a quiet peace.

That Awkward Moment ….(Troubled Waters??)

Recently on BBM and on Twitter I noticed that a lot of people say so many things with the #tag “…that awkward moment when …” and most of what was said made a lot of sense and even sometimes funny. Well, I had my own personal experience with such, it was an eye opening moment for me and it was that awkward moment when I realized that I had been chasing the same thing for far too long.

It was on the 4th of July (in the U.S.) and as required by custom, I was planning on where to go watch fireworks with my friends when it occurred to me that; in a particular aspect of my life, I am still where I was on the 4th of July last year, and still vigorously chasing the same thing.

It was a self-revealing moment for me and I had two different emotions: initially, I was sad and I felt sorry for myself. I had been engrossed in something so pointless, investing time and money into it without seeing the result that I wanted. I was so involved in it that I failed to hear God. As a result, for a whole year of my life, I was stuck at a bus stop!!
Back to Top